The people in my life...

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Psychology - Human Behaviour (Mind, Personality & Physical) - very long paragraph, you may fall asleep...

Guess I have nothing better to write!! Just got this aspiration out of a sudden and so, to pen down the following I have learned in the past. Hope the followings would benefit or, giving a better idea/illustration to the Earthly human body of mind and its personality. Psychology is the science of the human mind which is the most complex machine on Earth. It is the source of all thoughts and behaviours. Scientifically, psychology study is unlike what we have learned in the academic. It is so much of a difference whereby interaction, observation, experiment and patience are the factors to this study and ingredients. It is an extremely interesting topic that I have come across. Aside from this, my other self-study interest in the past will be on Eastern Philosophy. No idea why I prefer Chinese historians to the Western. Confucius, Lao-tzu, etc are my favourite philosophers though, and just a heads-up on my present or so, the long missing book of "A History of Chinese Philosophy" written by the name of "Fung" something (2 words though) in the year around 1920 - 1950. This book was translated to English in the late 20th century. My last touch of the book was in 1998 at Toa Payoh library. Take note hor Dear Dear, kekeke...

In my philosophy of psychology, it is a way to observe a person's needs and thoughts. In fact, this comes in handy to the modern world as it's corrupted with frauds, cheaters, abusers, etc people. It's a kind of learning of self-protection and deeper human understandings to the nasty world in my point of view. In this modern society, people are lacking of self-motivation, self-esteem, ambitionless, missing aims in life and therefore leading to a meaningless life. Currencies are the number one killer to personality and mind. Money!! Money!! Money!! It may not be the most important, but it is essential in the living nowadays. As we grow older each year, we have actually shortened the time of earnings. In another word, lessen or harder fulfillment to achieve and minimal pampers to be/stay happy. Humans are born to have desire, greed, hatred, love, etc.. It is how each of us examines the situation and applies accordingly with the positive cures. A quote from Confucius - "We are all the same in nature, it is the living that makes us different". Just simply imagine if anyone of us was born in Africa, Middle-East, etc.. Would we enjoy what we have then? Would you want if to swap the living with anyone there?

There's a kind of therapy known as psychoanalysis. It was founded by the great psychologist backed in the 19th century (100years ago liao), to my minimal memory recalled. It works, by encouraging to express any random thought that enters the mind. By doing so, previous unconscious thoughts and memories are brought to the conscious mind, thus allowing us to understand the unconscious motives. This way, it will hopefully free us from problems. In fact, I do not really understand how it works, am not a psychologist though, hahaha.. But I think, it is a way just to let us understand and recap of the past, be it good or bad, to let us being strong in mind and to accept the fact we have faced in the past. Psychoanalysis can be used in many situations, example when one is depressed, this analysis can be of help to let the depressed person face the fact and acquires acceptance to it. The next example can be applied in business, friends and families. It is called human behaviour analysis in my own words. Actually, an extraction from the Strategies of Sun-Tze. This works, to have better understandings in ourselves and others, why s/he acts this way, why s/he behaves this way, etc.. In fact, psychology is everywhere, every corner in the world, anything in concern with the mind, the behaviour, the physical act. To our consciousness, we deliberately observe a person in many measures. To our unconsciousness, we respond to one's action, to one's question naturally which have been our daily living styles and needs. When there's psychology, we are talking about the mind. When there's mind, we are talking about psychology.

What influences personality? Simply, our childhood, it's all started from there. Everyone is born with sexual and aggressive urges, something we must learn to control early in our lives. As we learn to control the urges, we also learn right and wrong. A child goes through several stages, fixating on particular parts of the body. In one of these stages, a boy competes with his father for attention of his mother, and a girl competes with his mother for attention of her father. What the child experiences during this stage will affect the personality in the later years. Also, man does not have an "inner self" that directs him to act in a certain way. Rather man acts the way he does because he has been rewarded or punished for his behaviour. A child's personality can be molded by reward and punishment. We should make use of our knowledge about controlling behaviour to create society where individuals are conditioned to act in a way that helps to achieve that society's goals. In fact, to not do it if a person is irresponsible. And a person behaves depends on how that person's needs are being met. Some needs are more fundamental than others. Example if someone is starving and not concern with issues such as the need to feel accepted by his peers, or the same hungry person when deprived of oxygen is no longer concerned with the need for food, but getting air into his lungs. (by Dr. Sigmund Freud, the late great psychologist, 1897)

The above is an example of the influence of personality. As what I have always kept in mind, there's always a reason for any consequence occurred. It's the same interpretation in Buddhist study of the Cause and Effect. There's always an ending for every beginning, thus I often focus on one thing at a time for better result rather than having Rojaks. Based on the statement by Dr. Freud, our personality 'was' decided during our childhood. However, on what time frame does the childhood ends? How long and till what age? In my opinion and experience in the past, I have started to realize the word 'compassion' and 'loneliness' at the age of around 16. Perhaps, it was the surrounding uncles and aunties that had given me a good piece of advice and priceless knowledge towards life. By then, my life had changed as well as my understandings of life. Well, in fact, I think not only childhood that influences personality, every moment now and then might have the potential to change it. We learn as we grow, it's a matter of how much (quantity) and the willingness (mentally) to accept and absorb the essence of knowledge.

How does the mind work? It does not matter how the mind works. What does matter is that human behaviour can be explored from the outside, through facts gained by careful testing and measurement, and not by imagining that we gain scientific knowledge of this mysterious entity we call the mind. We should seek the laws of human behaviour through application of the scientific method rather. However, on the contrast, take a look at the unconscious. For example, everyone's personality has a large unconscious component. Events buried and forgotten in the unconscious (the past) influence our behaviour. Consider a simple slip of tongue, you intend to call your friend a "good friend", but instead you tell him he's a "good friend". You claim you didn't mean it, but did you really? Perhaps your true feelings are surfacing from deep within your conscious? ( by B. F. Skinner, Psychologist of Behaviorism )

How does the mind works, agreeable with Skinner's statement though. Our mind is wrapped surrounded by hair >> skin and flesh >> skull >> skin of brain >> brain cells in general. Haha, common knowledge said like never say at all!! But truthfully, our mind consists of memories and reactions to our physical body. The unconscious we are talking about here should be the after process of certain events, something that has had happened and left behind as memories. At times, when we are so focused on something, we will tend to forget another thing as our consciousness is on full concentration. At this point of time, our sub-conscious arises by attempting to do another thing the same time. It is because during our conscious act (eg. eating), our sub-conscious (other things/actions) reacted naturally as we think but soon forgetting it in a flash. Very familiar hor Dear, hee... In an event of such, a person has the urge of doing something but ultimately, was caught up with something else at that point of time. No two things at a time hor!! It's not the reason of greed but the responsibility, not the incapability but the priority. There's always two faces of a coin, same goes for anything in the world. An universal balance of Heaven and Earth in my view. There will always be an opposition to anything, the reverse or negative effects, thus this has proven me of no forever or everlasting. What comes will eventually has to go, it's just a matter of time, perhaps some are controllable that we can hold on till death, whereas some are uncontrollable that it will vanishes without explanations. If our mind tells us there is potential in any controllable events, prioritize it. And if the mind tells us that is uncontrollable without potential, set measurement and experiment to analyze the situation before giving conclusion.

The next would be the physical. How does our physical be involved in human behaviour? Unfortunately, I can't find any statement of it. However, in my theory, 'body language' is the physical am referring here. Other than the mind and personality which are invisible to our bare eyes to conduct an analysis on human behaviour, body language is one of the ways physically that reveals certain behaviour. While we are talking about body language, we need a combination of spoken words. As we aware that, words release physically in the form of 'sound' via our mind, and everyone has different personality which produces different mindset and therefore different ways of expression (in words) to transmit what's in the mind of a person to another. (Gosh, complicating myself also. Command of English is getting worst liao, need to practice more, haha!! I'll just hack-care some of the grammars here also, pardon me) A brief illustration below,

Personality >>> affects the mind to think of what to react >>> transmits to physical voice producer (voice-belt) >>> to produce sound of words >>> (a reverse reaction here when message sent) >>> listener to accept/receive sound of words via physical ears >>> transmits to the mind >>> a loop back to personality and the cycle carries on..

Correct me if I am wrong. So in the process of communication, both body language and spoken words can be used to analyze a person's behaviour. It is often being used during interviews in major companies for higher positions. Interviewers other than to assess resume, communication is another factor during the process. Both body language and spoken words are depended to give trust and truth base on resume while questions are asked. We do not look elsewhere while in conversation with each other (be it interviewee or interviewer), this prove how attentive a person is. We do not point fingers or hand/leg actions in the conversation as well, this prove that a person is rude without proper manners. However, being too quiet without exchanging questions or query of doubts, will also prove two things. Either this person has no interest for the job or an easy prey for predators who will keep quiet when gets bitten. The eye contacts play a part as well, it tells if a person is saying the truth with frighten expression or listening attentively. In fact, this method applies to anyone, anywhere, any circumstances.

Let's finalize or rather just to end it. Can hardly concentrate anymore! Here's another psychologist, Abraham Maslow, probably known as the leader of Humanistic Psychology. His theory in psychology is interesting to me though. He said to believe that all human beings strive for self-actualization (a new term to me), the need to fulfill one's own unique potential - to become everything that he or she can be. The road to self-actualization is not always an easy one. Humans have different needs that can be arranged in a hierarchy. The needs found lower in the hierarchy usually must be met before those listed higher. Herein, I would use point form instead of hierarchy.

(1st ranking) The need to fulfill one's unique potential
(2nd ranking) Esteem needs : to achieve, be competent, gain approval and recognition
(3rd ranking) Belongingness and love needs : to affiliate with others; to be accepted and belong
(4th ranking) Safety needs : to feel secure, safe and out of danger
(5th ranking) Physiological needs : to satisfy hunger, thirst, and sex drives

The 4th & 5th rankings are the most fundamental needs: Physiological needs such as the need to satisfy hunger, thirst, and sex drives, followed by safety needs, such as the need to feel safe. Next, the 2nd & 3rd rankings are the needs to be loved, and to gain approval and recognition. At the top, the 1st ranking is the need to fulfill one's unique potential, the self-actualization. Humanistic Psychology focuses on psychological health rather than on mental illness. Its view is optimistic, with an emphasis on the human potential, a healthy viewpoint though. (by Abraham Maslow)

Indeed, a humanistic psychology rather than behaviorism. It's more to be a psychological strategy to me. Take note that there's a comparison in which is the top needs and common desires. I wonder what kind and how the analysis or experiment was carried out for such. Human's mind is just too mysterious and hardly be understood. Without years of efforts in psychology study, it is very difficult to capture the essence to the understandings. Perhaps with the technology of science in future, the true and simple explanation would be revealed. In fact, I remember my school teacher ever said that, "there is no right or wrong in science, no definitely answers to science". To certain extends, when science is not able to explain any occurrence, the unconscious mind would tend to answer it as magic, a miracle or god's will to ease the stress of conscious mind. Nevertheless, I often have questions as listed below. Till now, I have doubts to myself. Perhaps, some would choose to avoid the facts and live on day by day, but that's definitely not me. Being ambitious but not over-ambitious, being compassionate but not over-compassionate, being enthusiastic but not over-enthusiastic, being contented but not over-contented, being the stars to shine but not every night. And that's how I have got my Chinese name, right hor Dear. That's how to look forward providing rooms for improvement.

Which of the rankings have you fulfilled or have you already reached the top 1st ranking?
Do you have a goal in life, a potential goal though?
Have you thought of what to achieve in life?
If you were given a chance to learn the fact of what you are and will be, would you want?
Let's close our eyes for 5-10 minutes in a silence environment, recall the past - the unconscious as mentioned earlier, have you learn something or are you able to visualize what has happened to be in reverse situation?

Hehe, think I'm only able to achieve between 2nd and 3rd ranking for now :( Hope that the path ahead in life could be a smooth and successful one.

Note that I have taken away the comment option for some privacy act, still, you can provide opinion or suggestion to my mailbox at: CLICK HERE and thanks

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Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Depression / Human Combustion...

Some of the truths and facts to share here. I have come across a book on depressions which in the process of spontaneous human combustion (SHC). However, I could only recall a minimal of what was read and did a little research on the web. I remember when a person who's in a depression state, the mood and behaviour reacted differently. It occurs mainly due to hatred, loneliness, frustration, confusion, etc.. and leading to high possibility of mental disorder, making one to possess the act of violence and hurting words unknowingly. There are no scientific nor guaranteed methods to the cure but on individual awareness and patience. Each depression occurs differently of different reasons. As mentioned, it might be hatred from the past (unforgettable), loneliness (lacking of love and care), frustration (incapability to desire), confusion (unsolvable issues). Each of the category reacts differently but the common factors are still anger and sadness. When people are depressed, they have natural imbalance of chemicals in their brains, possibly highly flammable chemicals. This information was found in a book called "Mysteries of Unexplained", something like that if I recall correctly :)

I believe most people who are in depression will go for drinks (alcohol known for its flammability). It's kinda a natural chain reaction in the working body systems. Our body temperature raises during depression, the brain burns (not those hot fire type but can feel the minimal heat). In that process, in the current present society, alcohol comes into play and also of social acts. Most depressed person will tend to require companionship and alcohol to explode the trapped frustration within and to cool down afterwhich. I believe some of you who read this have seen that state of me. Perhaps for those who don't understand why I would have spent thousands on the stupid Chivas, guess the answer is here. Crazily, I realized the number of bottles I have consumed to be a shocking figure when I received the monthly bills. On the average, 3-4 bottles per week. Anyway, it's over and have gotten over it. Am a guy to be particular of having the beginning and ending of each chapter in life, to do things with head and tail. Perhaps, thriving for perfection, want things to be in complete form but not half-pail-water in hokkien, haha.. So, it's a way of mine to end the past in order to start a new chapter. So I believe Dear has understood earlier and to some who's interested to know. Alcohols are still unavoidable for certain social activities, but won't be a heavy drinker as before. Love you Dear... So much of myself, let's get back to the topic.

Believing most who read this will have doubts on what I have mentioned above, natural imbalance of possibly high flammable chemicals in the brain. It actually means nothing to me, haha.. It may have chemicals in the brain but not flammable type. As for human combustion, it simply means human body catches fire. I believe most of us understand the concept of combustion. So this takes place in our human body, just like an overheated car by the road or exploded cars seen in TV. Below is a long paragraph found on the web.

The presence of alcohol in the body is commonly thought to be responsible for rapid and intense combustion. This is a misunderstanding. The concentration of alcohol in a body would be much too low (try to ignite beer with a conventional flame). Diluted alcohol will neither burn or spontaneously explode. Oxygen has to be present to allow ignition and combustion. For example, at room temperature, the only way to make gasoline explode with a conventional flame is to let it vaporize in a dosed container and then set the gas on fire. In a human body, and explosion, or perhaps even fast burning due to flammable liquids, is impossible. In 1850, Justus von Liebig showed that even tissue soaked with alcohol would not burn to ashes, not even with the application of an external flame.
Ok, so yes, body is mostly water and to cremate a human body requires enormous amounts of heat over a long period of time. Fire burns at over 200 degrees F. The human body, when alive, is usually under 100 degrees F. A corpse would tend to cool off to room temperature. If a living being ever spontaneously combusted, the warning signs would be phenomenal: 212 degree F burning sensation. Even crematoriums are unable to reduce bones to ashes, they usually have to be broken up into small pieces for their total destruction to be achieved. The main objection that supporters of SHC have to such ordinary explanations is that they doubt that the course of an event can be demonstrated in retrospect, especially in cases of burning. This is not true. Foresnic examination of charred remains will reveal many clues. Foresnic scientists, medical examiners, and so on, are able to deduce a great deal of information from very severely burnt bodies, even from ashes and the remains left after cremation.
In foresnic practice, there are no known cases in which internal organs of a burned corpse were damaged more than the outer parts. This practical observation is further proof that combustion never starts from inside a human body.
Many photographs of alleged SHC appear to have fooled observers by not showing the complete remains of the bodies. In many cases, one also has to consider the role of individuals who may wish to cover up evidence of a crime.
The pictures and reports published on SHC up to now can be explained by well-known and understood mechanism that are regularly found at the sites of burning.
There is no need to invent bizarre chemical reactions or paranormal activities to explain what is mistakenly called "spontaneous combustion"!

True or False, there are more to it that meets the eye!! Base on the above statement, it seems False but how about the below again?

A show on human combustion, and they tried to test your theory of the body being saturated with alcohol, basically what they did was take beef rump roast and soaked it in alcohol until it was completely saturated. then tried lighting it, it would not even light much less explode into flames, they even poured alcohol on the outside surface but once the alcohol burned off the top then it went out. They said this theory came from an old legend of human combustion. It seems in olden days they said it was GODS punishment for being a sot. I've never read anything of this in the HOLY BIBLE so until I do I'll discount it as folklore ALWAYS.

True or False again? Let's just put it this way, there are many things we only see on its surface. We, as human, often tend to anticipate or been influenced by words and actions from others, leading to doubts and misunderstandings. It's a natural cause though and during an argument, when two or more parties are involved, the conflict and disagreement often lead to unhealthy ending. However, each human has different thoughts, different behaviours, different point of views, etc.. It occurs, perhaps of frustration of incapable desires, prides, or in simple, things not in the way of what one wants. Often turns out reversely.

As a result, depression leads to all kind of reactions that may take place (forgets about that SHC, just for reference). So it's very easily to have conversation conflicts, alcoholic relieves, unexplainable and unlawful acts, volcano eruption of temper, etc.. Medical cure will not work easily though, it's all depend on individual and how s/he face the problems. Advice and suggestion maybe essential but in the end, s/he will still be the only to resolve the depression. If anyone will to have the feel of depression, be prepared and self-observe. There's always something to learn from ourselves unexpectedly.

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Friday, December 30, 2005

Trust, Love, Commitment, Career, Family, Financial...

Nothing comes in my mind nor having the instinct to blog but am just too bored! As usual, reporting late for work in the morning. Something needs to be changed - punctuality though. It does reflect on the performance and trust you're giving to your reporting. However, due to the holiday moods that majority of employees are in, the office is seemed way too quiet. What's more I can say, holidays, long breaks, etc.. Just got backed from lunch with Vincent, well, a splendid and wonderful lunch at Maxwell though. What do we have? Fish, minced pork, fried egg, sotong, vegetables, bean sprouts for the price of 8 bucks. Incredible!! Therefore, we went for a scroll in a nearby park and lastly embarked at Starbucks before we parted. Guess am still kinda full right now, too slack to move.

Relationship and career commitment, having being the roots of trust and love, family and financial respectively. Just how does one manage to facilitate or withhold it. The strategy or theory often turns out negatively, that's for me perhaps! It might be said easier than to apply. However, analysis reported that, happily married men are much more likely to be successful in business and social ventures. Whereas, divorced mothers with children are often delegated to a life of poverty. The financial consequences alone may completely wiped away any remaining resources that are left over.

Some questions that most married couples would have thought of for example - What if your spouse says, "I just don't love you anymore/I hate you/ We've just grown apart/I have met someone else/I want you to leave now?" I wonder have anyone come across such questions? But the situation may change even if you have the answer now, will these questions hit me ever? Next question will be asking myself, "Is my career getting in the way of marriage/relationship?" At times, it's just too frustrating to think about which ends up to an unknown conclusion. Different commitment will have different kind of role and theory to it. Time maybe crucial though but not forgetting the influences that's surrounding us. Every word takes into account that ends up as a dictionary in our mind. Relationship leads to marriage, career leads to financial stability. It's that different which likes we are trying to be in the East and West the same time. Practically, we take it easy as on daily basis - a day to a day. But on the long run, it's never positive. Without strong fundamentals on each commitment, the route will be so tough with frustrating obstacles leaving one to be disheartened. Comparison is essential as like choosing a beneficial employment, car, apartment, investment, etc.. Past experience often leaves a negative thoughts and fear towards, or rather vice versa.

Those of you who wanna save the marriage, a simple formula to apply - the TLC. It's about building the Trust, Love and Commitment. You rebuild the Trust in your relationship by regaining the confidence and understanding once had. No relationship can even begin to heal without the establishment of trust. Next, you implement the Love by saying and doing the variety of options that are sure to get the positive attention of your spouse. By then, comes the commitment. We have gotta understand that no relationships are a one shot deal. A true relationship involves in daily commitment for the rest of your lives, that entails dedication and resolve from the both of you. At times, giving in too much or be stubborn will crack the relationship. However, we still need to give in and being stubborn on the other hand to withhold the relationship. It's a timing issue though unless both understand when and how to shield the relationship. Oops, time's up!! Cheers!

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World Cup 2006 (Germany)

Once again, World Cup is backed to life. The roars, the national flags, the national jerseys, the green fields, the fans, etc. have returned after a four years of silence. This time round, the World Cup is held in Germany and this entitled Germany to qualify automatically. When will it be held in Singapore?

Football in Germany is about youngest members of the Junior League (E-Jugend) fighting their way to the top, dreaming about becoming as great as Sammer, Ballack and Beckenbauer. It is also about amateur kick-abouts in the park, and pub tournaments, like the FC Halbe Lunge or the SC Vorwärts Bauchspeck. What would football be without the faithful supporters of its clubs who are there in all weathers to spur on their team and who never miss an away game? It's about the 'Sportschau' (sports show) on Saturday evenings being enough for some people - they are all fans. In short: Football is Germany's top sport...

Goethe, Bach and Beethoven - the cultural life of Germany has a long and rich tradition. Nowadays, however, names like the painter, Gerhard Richter and the director, Fatih Akin, and German hip-hop, also stand for a lively, many-faceted land of culture. The nation's culture emanates from the peaceful and tolerant coexistence and collaboration of all who live in Germany at the present time...

Musicals in Hamburg, modern ballet in Wuppertal, contemporary paintings in Berlin or theatre in Weimar - art and culture are there to be experienced all over Germany. The level of interest is high: around 35 million spectators attend more than 100,000 theatre productions and more than 7,000 concerts year by year. And if you do not want to see Goethe's 'Faust' or hear Beethoven's symphonies, you can improve your knowledge of art from prehistory to the present day in one of 6,000 museums...

As the world’s third strongest national economy, Germany holds a leading position in terms of its total economic output. With the highest gross domestic product and the largest number of inhabitants in the European Union, it is the most important market in Europe. In global trading of goods and services, the Federal Republic of Germany is in second place after the USA. Germany stands out as a centre for business through innovative and internationally active companies, qualified and motivated employees, an internationally recognized education system, an excellently developed infrastructure, as well as top achievements in research and development. Due to its central geographical location, Germany is at the same time an interface to the new markets of Southern and Eastern Europe, as well as beyond the boundaries of the new Europe...

World leader in Export - Economic life in Germany is more international in nature than in most other major industrial nations. One in three euros in Germany is generated through exports; nearly one in four jobs depends on exports. In 2003 Germany's foreign trade surplus total 129 billion euros. (impressive) Germany is the world leader in exporting goods - even ahead of the USA. Germany's great competitive strength internationally is illustrated most clearly in its high level of and rapidly growing merchandise exports. The rise in direct investments in Germany by international companies also underlines the good position of the German economy...

Investing in Germany - The FIFA World Cup 2006 in Germany is also to be used as an opportunity to present the merits of Germany as a business location. In this context, the Federal Government has set up Invest in Germany GmbH , an agency to market Germany as a business location. It serves as the first contact for international companies interested in investing in Germany. If this is being considered and information about Germany as a business location is required, the companies can get fast and non-bureaucratic support here. Invest in Germany answers questions on the economic situation in Germany as well as on basic legal conditions, tax regulations, conditions of entry and residence, development measures, etc...

If potential investors are already pursuing a concrete project idea, important data and facts about the particular sector are made available to them, contacts are organised with economic development institutes of the federal states (Lander) and other institutes - relevant to their project -, and if required, talks are arranged with potential partner companies in Germany...

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Tuesday, December 06, 2005

The Revolution...

What a day!! Work is already killing me yet, my colleague (Shifu) is leaving the company. Guess my six-sense has told me something about him but failed to acknowledge it. For sure, nothing last forever. Perhaps this word 'forever' is being used when one fails to define the actual time frame, perhaps just to facilitate everyone. Therefore, I have always been in doubt when this word is being seen/heard. Often appears in fantasy stories. Is one considered a fantasy-maniac for using such word?

Back to the topic, there is sure a revolution to take place in my workplace. I don't feel like training anyone anymore!!! I just hate it whenever there's a replacement. I need a strong backup, kaozz...(Marcus, if your hearing this - take me away from Cisco) The one replaced you is not strong enough, I need a tall mountain right behind me. Haizz... I don't hope anyone would read a headline of "Someone committed suicide from his workplace by jumping down from 26/F" in the Straits Time. But the window glass is too thick. (Have I tried?) Why are there so many stupid things occurred after my reservist? Why can't there be peace and harmony?

Lastly, why am I here again? Damn it!! Am I being possessed? Hope the drinking session would compensate for my bad afternoon. Damn!! Never believe in the word 'forever' man!! Worthless, lies... there's no Forever Love nor Eternal Love!!

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Monday, December 05, 2005

The Return...

Here I am once again!! Why the hell am I here again? Simply because - one is depressed, one is to reveal the hidden and unspoken words, an announcement to public, a journalist's experience, spreading world breaking news, etc... Which are you categorized? If I have a choice, I will not want to blog. Perhaps I have, but it's just in identical when one starts to light a cigarette and inhale. Sadly, that path of life changes then.

I have met up with some old friends recently. It has been a long time since I was active in socialization. Unexpectedly, two of the friends quitted smoking! I was in extreme doubts then. Feeling weird and uneasy as the change of human behaviours has taken place. Truly, certain behaviours and habits have had to revise when life is being threatened by any means. For once, both of them have undergone surgical operation. First - throat cancer, while the other - hole in the intestine. As we notice, human nature plays a major role. And as I have mentioned in my previous post, life is unpredictable without certainties and every occurance comes with a consequence. I wonder if I should go for a full medical check-up, perhaps this might change something in my life. Being in touch with cigarettes for 12 years, believing the negative effects are on its way. Blaming on my curiosities and playfulness back then, should I have been more sensible, perhaps the consequence I will face in future would be much optimistic. Who knows, I might be that rare species to have live over a hundred of age with cigarettes.

So, why am I here? Boredom? Frustrations? Or perhaps, in need of assistance to solve a mystery? Wanted to talk about religion, but guess it's wise to forbid myself. What else is in my mind? Just plain emptiness... eye contact with the laptop screen with a full stomach. A stressful week ahead from now. Am I in that scenario that makes me blog today? Gosh, am talking to myself... unbelievable, unnatural... am I crazy at times? Perhaps those who read this gonna stay away from me, haha :p

Hmm, have no idea what to write.. guess am not emotional enough currently. Argh!! Anyway, I came acrossed Galvin's blog and got this link: http://blog.galvintan.com/numa.htm Kinda hilarious and stupid though, and will definitely make your day for once.. Cheers :) ===============================================================================================